Wednesday, May 16, 2007

2001: A Cyberspace Odyssey - Snoop dogg Version

Just found Gizoogle, which is ultra awesome! Did some translating for me. Lemme lay this one down for you.



"The future is already hizzy. It's jizzy not widely distributed yet. " - William Gibson.

Gibson's article `bout Tokyois gang bangin' it's tha city thugz look up ta W-H-to-tha-izzen they try ta envision tha future. The future, if you go by his world view, tizzle all culture is a product of technology fo shizzle.

In 2001, I'd managed ta rap me into a job at Computa Gam'n World India. I was going ta be paid fo` mobbin' n dippin' games cuz its a G thang. It thought it would be one of those dream jobs now pass the glock Anotha dogg house production.: wine tasta, pizzle star, sum-m sum-m like tizzy spittin' that real shit. Ridin' passion into a profession worked fo` Jeremy Clarksen, I figured.

It quickly dawned on me tizzle priznint magazizzles is no fizzun, especially when they gots no gang bangin' money, but I stizzuck around fo` one reason fo' real: broadband.

In 2001, JDM, tha company I was blingin' fo` was a 300 strong IT media company wit dizzy T1 lines. I'd say `bout 270 of T-H-to-tha-izzem were mostly email & S-to-tha-izzurf type guys. Broadband jizzy meant rappa email fo` thizzay so i can get mah pimp on. And tizzy there was us, tha alpha geeks. We were kids, most of us, n tha internet was our playground. We were all tuned into everyth'n tha undernet could offa�: Killa MIRC, FTP playa games, software... we hoarded everyth'n�. Wizzle we ran out of hard drive space, we'd put some data on tha copyedizzles machine wit da big Bo$ Dogg. And then some on some drug deala machine, n so on. We didn't S-T-to-tha-izzop until tha CEO started crack'n diznown on us crazy up in here.

I shot calla tha F-to-tha-izzirst time I saw a DVD rip, it was a rip of X-Men. Our jaws dropped if you gots a paper stack. In less than three months, we had over a hundred movies. We wizzle resourcizzles . know what im sayin?.

Everyone had they own specialty: one homey collected ROMS n ebooks. One homey had all tha games scoped out now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe. One homey took care of tha movies n software fo' sheezy. And then there were some who had a prodigious appetite, who had scoped out ho-slappin'. And had extra hardware ta back it up.

We stayed in late nights, ho-slappin' in this 411 that came straight out of a firehose. We shared gangsta biznurnt CDs, painstizzles one every 20 minutes. Hatin' this 411 out of tha office ya dig?: it was a pain . Hollaz to the East Side. We used ta come dur'n weekends ta git it out. We really cherished these bits.

I don't know how all tizzy 411 empowered or changed us, but I can speak fo` myself.

It's like we I from tha future. There's a big ego tizzle in being a distro cuz its a pimp thang. Information thizzay I shared would then go through ten loops, n tizzy be thrown bizzack at me, a few months lata�. " Hey, hizzle you seen this?" n then I'd say, " Yeah yeah, of course I hizzy. Months ago. "

How we would hoard data. If only we kizzle how useless it would become wit time.

Cruisin' of useless, a nigga of mine, who shiznall not be named (coz this is an article `bout warez) worked at a cybercafe as some kind of sysadmin in tha pre-2000 era. Of tha 256k bandwidth, he hogged 70% of tha bandwidth. While tha cybercafe crazy ass nigga barked at tha ISP fo` tha slow speeds, this nigga of mizzy worked like an ant, cruisin' a gigantic collection of P-to-tha-izzorn . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. He R-to-tha-izzight click n saved, one afta anotha, image afta image . Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. Everyth'n meticulously sorted n categorized in folda�. 600 MB of it.

Three CDs.

We were dedicated.

Trippin' have changed now. Technology has made obsessive collectors of us all.

2 comments:

Siddharth said...

fo' real man fo' real.. gang bangin an bustin'

RadhaKrishna said...

Haha real funny. I am going to try it on some office documents.